In reply to a post!

My friend Krithi, has written a sequel to my post "Possibilities." http://kaththiri.blogspot.com/2009/06/sequel-to-post-of-my-friend-named.html Here is my reply to it!

(I only hope Krithi is not pissed at my reply coming after so lonnnng!)

This is indeed a great post and I loved reading and thinking about it.

Firstly, I jus wanted to point out that the "dream" of going on bike (in my previous post) with my sweetheart is more like a fantasy and thus even if it'll come true or not, it doesn't matter. I jus gave a random example. I guess its wrong to call it a "dream." And as she pointed out rightly, "Is this a vital thing to be given importance?" True that it doesn't matter, I guess I was only pointing out that the possibility is no longer there. There's nothing good or bad in it ;-)

Talking about dependency on our husbands, "As my friend has correctly mentioned I felt dependency is frustrating for me even."
My thoughts about this is that - yes it is true we are dependent on people always in some way or the other. But somehow it's engraved into our minds or rather, it's never unusual for us to ask parents/siblings for any help for money or in making decisions. It in fact might be natural to be dependent on them. But since coming here and we being dependent on our husbands is very unusual for us and coz we don't know much abt their lives, we feel this dependence as something new and like as if we never had it in our lives so far!

The contradicting thought that'll come into our minds while asking our husbands for anything is that, we feel husbands ought to know what we want! and if they question, we feel they don't understand us, when they "actually" shud be the most understanding ppl for us.
So with all this, dependency on them becomes even more awkward.

So indeed, Krithika is very right to say "it's our attitude problem." We feel we are equally on par with our husbands. But when it comes to elders, we don't mind their questions and our dependency on them.

Actually our husbands might even feel we have more responsibility in making our relationship more harmonious... I mean, without the feelings of "dependency" existing. This is because we have a LOT more time than they do. When we think that we have lost all our independence after coming here, at the same time - for the same reason, they are actually thinking that we have become free birds! So you see the conflict of attitudes?

She has done such a nice picture portrayal and situation sketch!
For example, the dependence for going out... was never there! It was always in our minds. This is definitely something even I faced. But it was a lil' frurstrating wait as in this city there is absolutely nothing which is "walking distance." In fact, you'll never find a pedestrian here. So it took me time to start driving, get a license and finally become a free bird :-) Now I go out on my own, in my car and with music full ON! I love it and my husband is the first person to feel happy about it! He now in fact wants me to do all grocery shopping and whatever it is all on my own! For this I know the main reason is so that he can relax at home after a hard day's work instead of again going out to malls... hahahaha! Well, I'm kidding but ya the point is, he does love it when I am on my own!

Jus like how Krithika says she could do self analysis while writing and does not think before writing - its quite true for me too! It always makes me feel lighter when I write or talk!

Thanks for reading.