In reply to a post!

My friend Krithi, has written a sequel to my post "Possibilities." http://kaththiri.blogspot.com/2009/06/sequel-to-post-of-my-friend-named.html Here is my reply to it!

(I only hope Krithi is not pissed at my reply coming after so lonnnng!)

This is indeed a great post and I loved reading and thinking about it.

Firstly, I jus wanted to point out that the "dream" of going on bike (in my previous post) with my sweetheart is more like a fantasy and thus even if it'll come true or not, it doesn't matter. I jus gave a random example. I guess its wrong to call it a "dream." And as she pointed out rightly, "Is this a vital thing to be given importance?" True that it doesn't matter, I guess I was only pointing out that the possibility is no longer there. There's nothing good or bad in it ;-)

Talking about dependency on our husbands, "As my friend has correctly mentioned I felt dependency is frustrating for me even."
My thoughts about this is that - yes it is true we are dependent on people always in some way or the other. But somehow it's engraved into our minds or rather, it's never unusual for us to ask parents/siblings for any help for money or in making decisions. It in fact might be natural to be dependent on them. But since coming here and we being dependent on our husbands is very unusual for us and coz we don't know much abt their lives, we feel this dependence as something new and like as if we never had it in our lives so far!

The contradicting thought that'll come into our minds while asking our husbands for anything is that, we feel husbands ought to know what we want! and if they question, we feel they don't understand us, when they "actually" shud be the most understanding ppl for us.
So with all this, dependency on them becomes even more awkward.

So indeed, Krithika is very right to say "it's our attitude problem." We feel we are equally on par with our husbands. But when it comes to elders, we don't mind their questions and our dependency on them.

Actually our husbands might even feel we have more responsibility in making our relationship more harmonious... I mean, without the feelings of "dependency" existing. This is because we have a LOT more time than they do. When we think that we have lost all our independence after coming here, at the same time - for the same reason, they are actually thinking that we have become free birds! So you see the conflict of attitudes?

She has done such a nice picture portrayal and situation sketch!
For example, the dependence for going out... was never there! It was always in our minds. This is definitely something even I faced. But it was a lil' frurstrating wait as in this city there is absolutely nothing which is "walking distance." In fact, you'll never find a pedestrian here. So it took me time to start driving, get a license and finally become a free bird :-) Now I go out on my own, in my car and with music full ON! I love it and my husband is the first person to feel happy about it! He now in fact wants me to do all grocery shopping and whatever it is all on my own! For this I know the main reason is so that he can relax at home after a hard day's work instead of again going out to malls... hahahaha! Well, I'm kidding but ya the point is, he does love it when I am on my own!

Jus like how Krithika says she could do self analysis while writing and does not think before writing - its quite true for me too! It always makes me feel lighter when I write or talk!

Thanks for reading.

Possibilities

Isn't it true how the possibilities of what you can do reduce as we grow old? When you are a kid, you thought u can be this, u can be that, why not do this, why not that? You would have thought of a hundred different things you would do. "I wanna go around the earth in a space shuttle once." "I wanna be a rock star." This surely looked possible for me then! NOW, I will just say, ah I see no way that'll ever happen to me.
Why so much exagerration of a dream... I can even talk about something small. I always loved motor bikes. Since childhood I've been crazy of speed on bikes and dreamt of sitting behind my honey on his motor bike and going zoom! I would love to break rules and then escape from being caught! Adventures of all sorts!
Now, when I see those zooming motorbikes on roads - I still dream sitting on the back seat. Once when I mentioned to Parth about how fun it is, he simply said "what nonsense!" It didn't strike to me what it meant at that point of time. Later I realized - I should simply just forever not think of motorbikes again... forget dreaming about going with ur honey on it!!! That small dream is now yes - can now be a crumbled paper in trash can :-( :-(
Parth said, as we get older, we get wiser and so we don't want to do such stupid biking anymore. Our priorities change. But I think - it's the possibilities that narrow down! For me the possibility has become zero coz my honey hates it! So, it's the possibility. If I keep prioritizing things, I will never dream... right?

In the same flow, I started thiking of what happened to me in the last one year. Me coming to US has narrowed or zeroed all possibilities! I was handicapped and I was basically felt like a prisoner this one year. Oh so much dependence, never ever ever had for anything! Now maybe with this Masters and my driving license, I can slowly build up my "possibilities" but at the same time I need to build a new me. The old me is useless here.
Now, acc to Parth buying a house will narrow the possibilities of us going back to India. Because now our priority is to not to incur losses coz of the house.(paused to think: "money is the root of all problems directly or indirectly. Damn, wish I had some carefree zone there.)

So what's the solution? If a person cannot take risks, there will be jus nothing that could have possibly existed. Oh, why go so far? If one cannot take risks, no one would have bought a house. The safest is, jus keep living in a rented apartment (nothing wrong in it surely), keep going with the flow, lay low and thus, lay safe!

Okay, this post is taking wild turns and is going nowhere I can see. All I wanna say is, as you grow old, ur dreams a jus a few. The "feasibility" of ur childhood dreams gets narrow or zero. Some might be silly, but what if u think they are not silly or what if they are with you still? Are they still possible? Do we have to stop dreaming or hoping? My worst fear of not having my family/friends near to me, will it come true coz it now seems "possible"????

Thanks for reading (and getting confused).

Picture Tag

Have been wanting to blog since long, but I have so many things going on in my mind I feared I'll talk too much and unnecessarily.

Here I found this post in one of my frnd's blog page. I thought this is the time to blog again.

The rule is - I'm supposed to paste an image for every answer of mine which get from the first page of google image search, with minimal explanation. So, here are mine....

1. The age you will be in your next birthday:26


2. A place you’d like to travel to: Greece


3. Your Favourite place: Hyderabad

4. Your favourite food/drink: gongura

5. Your favourite pet: bird

6. Your favourite colour combination: red and black

7. Your favourite piece of clothing: frock


8. Your all time favourite song: Nothing else matters (Metallica)

9. Your favourite TV show: First time home buyers (HGTV) (Current favorite, I'm on a house-hunt here remember!!)

10. Full name of your significant other: Parthasarathy


11. The town in which you live in: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

12. Your screen name/nickname: Anjana (I dunno who the heck is this in the pic. I expected Lord Anjaneya (Hanuman)'s pic)

13. Your first job: Software Engineer

14. Your Dream Job: Filmmaker

15: Bad Habit you have: Laziness

16. Your worst fear:Settling down in USA (hmm, I think all my answers are w.r.t. my current state of mind)


17. The one thing you’ll like to do before you die: Earn lots of money (I wanna get independent and do what I want, lot of them)


18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: Go back to India and give free education to poor (One of the major things I wanna do when I "earn that lots of money" too)




Thanks for reading.